CHAPTER FIVE

Justin's reaction was to immediately try to shut the door in the other man’s face, but Ethan was prepared for that move and pushed against the heavy wooden slat with all his might.

Unfortunately, he had the extra muscle to win that battle. Justin nearly fell back onto the floor as his arms gave, allowing Ethan to barge inside.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Justin asked angrily as he tried to catch his breath, his blue eyes staring at Ethan hotly.

“That answer should be obvious,” Ethan returned mockingly, brushing past Justin roughly and walking further inside.

Justin closed the door, but didn’t lock it. Brian would be here soon and he hoped to have gotten rid of Ethan long before then.

Justin watched his former lover as the other man's eyes scanned the vicinity, taking in the main level of Justin's home. Ethan hadn’t changed much in terms of looks. His black curly hair was just below his shoulders and as unkept as it always had been. He was dressed in an overly big coat and snug jeans and his sneakers left an imprint of mud everywhere his feet landed.

Justin wasn’t sure how to deal with this man who had forced his way into his home... and by extension - into his life. Again. And after everything that had happened...

He couldn't help but be afraid.

His first instinct was to think of Brian... wishing the other man were here with him. Brian would know what to do. Brian would take care of him.

Oh fuck. He was turning into a sap. A totally dependent, stupid sap. It was all Brian's fault!

Grow up, Justin, he thought. You're a big boy now. Remember? Brian wasn't around for the past 20-plus years. You found your way then, you'll fucking find your way now! Out of this mess, at least.

“How did you find me?” Justin asked quietly.

Ethan whipped his head back around to stare at Justin.

“I followed you from your mom’s a couple of days ago,” Ethan explained.

Justin felt himself tremble slightly. Oh, God. Ethan was following him. It was worse than he thought.

“You… you shouldn’t have done that,” Justin told him, trying to keep his voice steady. He wouldn't let Ethan know how much he was getting to him.

Ethan laughed mockingly. “Why not?” he asked angrily. “You didn’t leave a forwarding address when you snuck out and ran out on me! And your fucking bitch of a mother refused to tell me where you were!”

“I asked her not to!” Justin snapped, taking offence to his mother being called a bitch. “I don’t want you here, Ethan! We’re over.”

Before Justin knew what was happening, Ethan had him pinned against the wall, a hand firm against his throat.

“I’ll tell you when we’re fucking over,” Ethan hissed at him. “And you don’t just walk out on me! I warned you before, Justin.”

Justin struggled against the pressure of Ethan’s hand. In response, Ethan began pressing harder against Justin's collarbone, the blond beginning to fight for breath. His eyes began to fill with moisture as they pleaded with Ethan’s chocolate-brown ones.

“You’re sorry for leaving me, aren’t you?” Ethan whipsered sweetly, his face looming over Justin’s.

Justin knew how to play Ethan’s game. He'd had to play it so many times before. He knew the consequences well, was too familiar with them.

He nodded. Ethan immediately eased up on his hold, but didn’t remove his hand.

“You still love me, don’t you?” the other man asked.

Justin wanted to shout, 'FUCK YOU,' but he gave in and nodded.

He felt Ethan’s mouth cover his and tried his best not to squirm in disgust.

“Open your mouth for me, baby,” Ethan gently requested.

Justin did as Ethan asked, allowing the moist tongue to come into his mouth. His body shook as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. Ethan sucked on his tongue, but he felt nothing - other than disgust.

He hated how weak he became around Ethan.

He hated himself.

Suddenly, the lips were removed from his and he was free. Sinking to the floor in relief, he clutched his throat and had a coughing fit. When he opened his eyes after a few seconds of composing himself, he had another scare.

Brian was beating the shit out of Ethan.

“NO!” Justin screamed, getting off the floor and rushing to Brian’s side. “Stop!”

He pushed at his lover’s arm and watched as Ethan fell to the floor, clutching at his stomach as he howled in pain.

“Justin, go call the police, while I keep an eye on this fucker,” Brian demanded, his eyes never leaving Ethan's face.

Justin swallowed. Shaking his head, he said, “No, no police, Brian.”

Brian whipped his head around in surprise. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" he asked a little more harshly than he had intended.

Justin winced. "I... I know him."

Brian cocked a brow. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

Justin placed a palm against his lover's chest, his eyes pleading. "I'll explain everything later. Just... just make him go away."

Brian had never heard a more stupid request. "No, you'll explain now and no, that bastard is not going anywhere!"

"Brian!"

Brian stared at him in surprise. “I’m not letting him just walk out of here.”

Justin closed his eyes in frustration. "We can't call the police, Brian."

"Why the fuck not?" Brian wanted to know. "How the hell did he get in here? And don't lie and tell me he wasn't hurting you. I'm not blind, Justin."

Justin's eyes fell on his former lover when he heard the wretched coughs coming from the floor. Ethan was spitting blood all over the front of his shirt.

Sighing, Justin whispered, "You don't understand."

"Make me," Brian whispered back.

"I will," Justin swore. "But you have to let him go now. Please." He sighed. “He won’t come back.”

Brian didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t believe Justin was telling him to let the guy go, as if nothing had just happened. He walked over to his blond lover and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

“Are you ok?” he asked softly, his voice breaking slightly. He’d never felt as angry as he did when he’d walked in and saw some man kissing Justin.

And then he’d noticed that his lover was not a willing participant, and had become even more furious. He’d reacted reflexively and given the opportunity, he probably would have killed the kid. His Irish blood had been on fire... and not in a good way.

Justin nodded and collapsed against Brian, his body shaking as the tears spilled out. The minute Brian had put his arms around him, he’d known everything was going to be ok.

Ethan slowly crawled to his feet, his fingers touching his split lip as he glared hotly at Brian.

“You come near him again and you’re fucking dead!” Brian told him menacingly.

Ethan’s gaze fell on Justin, but the blond had his face buried in Brian’s chest. Sneering he turned and left. Brian locked the door on the boy’s retreating back.

“It’s ok,” Brian whispered, his hands cupping Justin’s face. “I’m here now.”

Justin nodded and tried to compose himself. He was safe now. Brian was here. Everything was going to be fine.

“How about some hot chocolate?” Brian asked gently.

Justin hiccupped. “I want to have a bath,” he said seriously. “I can still feel his filthy hands on my body.”

Justin closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of being held in his lover’s arms while warm, bubbly water surrounded him.

Brian was placing soft kisses on the blond head periodically as his fingers gently touched his lover’s silky naked flesh. The silence was becoming unbearable, especially when there was so much he needed to know.

“Justin?” he asked softly, in case the boy was asleep.

“Hmm?”

“Can we... talk about it now?”

Justin stiffened.

Brian held onto the blond when he tried to move away. “Don’t run away from me. I need to know. Please.”

Justin took a deep breath. For long minutes, they sat together, silent again.

Finally, Justin gave in.

“His name is Ethan Gold,” Justin said. “He’s a musician.”

Brian said nothing, waited.

“I met him at a violin recital and I guess we… there was an attraction. I'd never met anyone like him. He was sweet, charming, good looking... and he had opinions... wanted to know mine." He sniffed. "We started going out a lot, spending time together.” He paused. “I fell in love with him, I guess… or at least, I thought I was in love.”

Brian hugged the boy to him when he felt Justin tremble.

“He had to move to Europe to tour and I decided to go with him,” Justin continued. “We found a dingy old apartment and tried to survive. Him on his music, me on my art. He loved watching me draw… posing for me. He told me I was going to be big someday.” He sighed. “It was nice having someone support me. My parents wanted me to become a business major, remember, so I know they were disappointed when I chose the Arts instead.”

He swallowed. “Things were good between Ethan and I for a while and then… well, I don’t know what happened exactly. He… he was having a hard time adjusting to the new country, I guess…" Justin shrugged. "He kept entering all of these competitions to get publicity, but he’d never score the top spot and… I…” Justin paused. “I tried to make him feel better… tried to be supportive… but how could I reassure someone that HE was the best when.. he wasn't?"

Brian gave the blond a gentle squeeze.

"And then he changed, Brian.”

He turned around to bury his face under Brian’s chin.

“How did he change?” he asked when Justin made no move to continue.

“He... he just seemed angry all of the time… and he…”

“Took it out on you?” Brian asked quietly, the contempt he was feeling towards the other man hidden within him.

Justin began to shake again. He didn’t want to remember those horrible times, not when he had tried so hard to forget.

“I think the water’s getting cold,” Brian said as he began getting out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist and held another up for Justin to walk in to, slowly wiping the moisture from the boy’s body.

Pulling the covers up over them in bed, Brian kissed his lover. “Will you be ok?”

Justin nodded.

“I think we should still call the police,” Brian suggested cautiously.

Justin immediately shook his head. "I can't."

"Justin."

"I did something, Brian."

Brian lay still for a good minute before allowing himself to ask, "What did you do?"

Justin chewed on his bottom lip. "I..." He was scared. Would Brian judge him if he told him what he'd done?

Reading his lover's mind, Brian tugged the younger man closer to him, if such a thing was even possible, and placed a wet kiss on the smooth forehead. "If you knew half the things I've done in my life..." he said, planting the seed in the boy's mind.

Justin smiled. "If you say so."

"So what did you do?" Brian asked, needing to steer the conversation back on track.

Taking a deep breath, Justin said, "Have you ever seen that Julia Roberts film - Something to Talk About?" At Brian's snort, Justin explained. "Well, Dennis Quaid plays her husband right, and he's been cheating on her. She finds out and starts acting all weird and shit."

"I'm hoping there's a point to this story," Brian said.

"I'm getting to it," Justin replied irritably. "Well, some old bird plants this idea in her head... you see, she's having him over for dinner later and..."

"What the fuck did you do?"

Justin gave a nervous laugh. "I sorta... fed Ethan some bad shit..."

Brian started to laugh. "But that's not so terrible."

"Before I tied him up," Justin added.

Brian laughed harder. "You fuck!"

"While he was puking all over himself."

"Gross!"

"And then I took his money."

Brian stopped laughing. "You stole from him?"

Justin nodded. "How else could I afford a plane ticket? I needed to get out, Brian. I had to do whatever it took."

"I'm not judging you, Brat," Brian said softly. "You did what you had to do."

Justin nodded. "And that's why I can't involve the police."

"It's another fucking country. I hardly think Scotland Yard has you on their 'Wanted' list."

"I've put him through enough shit. God knows how he survived after I left... with no money, in that place by himself." He sighed. "I don't blame him for being upset."

Brian groaned. “Justin, he deserved what he got. Now, I want you to be reasonable! This guy is not going to leave you alone.”

“He will.”

Brian gritted his teeth. “How can you be so fucking stubborn about this?”

Justin sat up in the bed, fed up. “Look, Brian, I appreciate your concern, but Ethan isn’t your problem.”

“He may not be my problem,” Brian snapped. “But your safety is important to me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

It was out his mouth before he could stop himself.

Justin was touched by Brian’s admission. He patted his lover’s face with the palm of his hand.

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” Justin reassured him.

Brian felt the urge to scream at Justin for being so naïve. “Justin.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Well, that’s your fucking business!” Brian shouted. “I’m calling Ted in the morning.”

Justin glared at Brian. “I said I don’t want to involve the police, Brian.”

“It’s for your own good.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“You’re really beginning to annoy me.”

“You’re already annoying me!”

Brian sighed in defeat. He knew when he was getting nowhere. Pulling the blond against his chest, he said, “I’ll back off if you promise me something.”

Justin sighed, but nodded.

“If he shows up again, you’ll tell me and then we can involve Ted.”

Justin took a deep breath. “Ok.”

They kissed.

Leaning up on an elbow, Justin gazed into Brian’s eyes. “So now you know everything about me.”

Brian snorted. “I could have done without knowing about this psycho though.”

Justin smiled. “So could I.”

“He knows better than to come around again,” Brian said.

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever had such trouble with a boyfriend?”

Brian pinched him. “Only with their exes apparently.”

Justin beamed at him. “That was sweet.”

“What?”

“The fact that you called me your boyfriend... in a roundabout sort of way.” Justin chuckled.

"No, I didn't." Brian pinched him again.

Justin ignored him. “What was your last boyfriend like?” he asked. “IF you even had one?”

Brian snorted. “It’s late and we have an early day tomorrow.”

“Uh, uh.” Justin shook his head. “I told you about mine. Your turn, Mr. Kinney.”

Brian sighed. “It’s not that big of a deal. I was with the guy who trained me. End of story.”

“What happened?” Justin pressed.

Brian laughed mockingly. “He was running a dirty operation and the cops got called in. I spent three nights in the slammer thanks to him.”

Justin’s mouth dropped open.

“I didn’t know what they needed to hear,” Brian continued. “And they let me go. He went to jail and that’s that.”

“You never went to see him?”

“What the hell for?”

Justin shrugged. “You must’ve cared about him.”

“He got himself in shit and I wanted no part of that. The son of a bitch was lying to me all of those months.”

Justin chewed on this bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

Brian grinned. “What are you sorry about?”

Justin crawled on top of Brian, his face inches from his boyfriend’s. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

Brian touched the blond head softly. “I survived.”

“And now you have me,” Justin said sweetly, his eyes shining.

Brian pulled him down for a kiss.

“I asked around like you said,” Tony said. “But all the boys were able to agree on was dark hair and white.”

Justin and Tony were sitting in McDonalds again. Justin had given the youngster his mobile number, so he could call him if he found out anything about the night Jason went missing or if ever he needed anything.

“They saw him get into a car with a man?” Justin asked.

Tony gave him his best ‘get real’ look.

“What?”

“We get into cars with strange men every night,” he said smartly. “Remember? It’s how we make a couple of bucks.”

Justin chewed on his bottom lip. “Oh.”

Tony shrugged. “It’s not bad ­ it’s a living, right?”

“Where are your parents?” Justin heard himself ask.

“Dead… in jail… I don’t know.” He paused. “I grew up in an orphanage.”

Justin felt his heart sink.

“And I’ve been through enough foster homes to know family life just isn’t for me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Tony slurped up the last of his drink. “S’ok. Anyway, they said he looked hot.”

Justin’s eyebrows went up.

“Although Marko, he’s one of the guys, he said he told Jason something was wrong with the guy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, first of all, you need to meet Marko,” Tony said with a grin. “He’s new on the block, if you know what I mean. He’s terrified of any guy that comes around… which probably explains why he makes the least amount of money of all of us.”

Justin smiled.

“So he was telling Jason: “Something’s wrong with that dude. He looks weird,” but we all laughed it off and heckled Marko for being such a queen.”

“What was so weird about him?”

“His eyes,” Tony replied softly.

“Eyes are the windows to your soul,” Justin said quietly.

“I wish we’d listened,” Tony said. “Maybe then Jason would be alive today.”

When Justin got home that night, he found Brian outside, sitting on the hood of his car. Justin smiled brightly at his boyfriend until he noticed the irritated look on Brian’s face.

Getting out of the car and moving towards Brian, he braced himself for bad news.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Brian wanted to know.

Justin raised a brow questioningly.

“I’ve been calling your cell for the past hour.”

Oh. Fuck. Taking the shiny silver mobile out of his pocket, he saw it was unlit. “I must’ve turned it off.”

“So where were you?”

Justin didn’t like Brian’s tone. “What do you mean ‘where was I?’ I was out.”

“Out where?”

“What the fuck is this?” Justin asked, adding a forced chuckle. “I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!”

“It’s a simple question, Justin. Answer it.”

“I was out with a friend.” It wasn’t a lie. Tony was slowly becoming a friend.

“Out where?” Brian pressed. "And with who?"

Justin’s eyes narrowed. “This is a fucking joke, right?”

When Brian said nothing, Justin snorted. “You’re not my keeper, Brian.” Sighing, he added, “And what’s the big deal anyway?”

“I was worried, dammit.”

“Worried?”

“Yes, WORRIED,” Brian stated. “Your psycho boyfriend is back in town, remember? I thought something had happened to you.”

Justin sighed. “Well, I’m fine, so cool it.”

Brian was getting more and more annoyed by Justin’s attitude.

“And stop treating me like a fucking child, Brian!” Justin snapped. “I don’t have to report to you or anyone else.”

Brian dug his tongue against his cheek. “You know what, you’re right.” He opened his car door and got in.

“Brian,” Justin said. “Don’t be like this.”

“Fuck you, Justin.” Brian started the ignition.

“And you tell me I’m immature?” Justin snapped.

Brian pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street without a second glance.

Rolling his eyes heavenward, Justin slammed the front door behind him.

If Brian thought he was going to apologize, he had another thing coming!

July 16 - 2003

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[ Case 1 ] [ Intermission 1 ] [ Case 2 ] [ Intermission 2 ] [ Case 3 ]
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