AS YOU ARE
Part 6

CONNIE AND LOIS - you are the best betas EVER!!!

BRIAN's POV

As I thrust into the tight hole in front of me, I can’t help but close my eyes. The pleasure is just so fucking intense. I hear him grunt then he starts begging me to not stop. Harder…faster…he wants more of my cock…so bad.

And when I know I’m about to let it all go, I can’t help but say his name…like I always do. It’s almost become a habit.

“Justin.”

Minutes later, I pull out and go into the bathroom to take a piss. That’s when I realize someone’s knocking at my door.

At first, I ignore it. I’m not in the mood for visitors…well, only if they’re willing to suck my dick. But then I’ve already had that done for the night…twice actually.

When the knocking gets louder, I call out, “I’m coming for fuck’s sake!”

In the bedroom, I pull on a pair of jeans and tell my blonde friend to get dressed…he’s done his duty; time to go home.

Pulling open the door, I see it’s Mikey. Giving him my most phony smile, I say with false sweetness, “Well, isn’t this a nice surprise?”

He pushes his way in and immediately starts. “Where the fuck were you? You promised Ma you’d be at her party, Brian.”

Shit. I knew there was something I had to do. But I hate it when people expect anything from me. I raise an eyebrow and tell him, “I didn’t promise anyone anything.”

He rolls his eyes and asks, “So what happened? Why couldn’t you make it?”

I walk over to the fridge and get a beer. As I'm fiddling with the bottle opener to get the cap off, I tell him, “Something came up.”

As if on cue, blondie walks out of my bedroom, fully dressed thankfully.

Even though I know I don’t have to, I make introductions. “Mikey, this is…what’s your name again?” I honestly can’t remember.

“Josh.” He tells me with an irritated look.

“Right. Mikey, this is Josh. He was just leaving.” I walk towards the door to emphasize my point.

“Wait. Who’s Justin?” Josh asks nervously.

My eyes narrow and I pull the door open.

“You told him about Justin?” Mikey asks, his eyes opening wide.

I don’t answer either of them and just hold the door.

“When can I see you again?” Josh asks as he walks out.

“You don’t.” I say and shut the door in his face.

Taking another gulp of beer, I walk into my bedroom. “So how was it?” I ask him in an attempt to change the topic…and fast. Justin is none if his business. He never was and he never will be…anyone’s business but my own.

He follows me into the bedroom, sits on the bed.
“It was great. Ma got drunk…that was really the highlight. It was all Justin’s and…” he doesn’t continue and I am forced to stop digging through my closet for a t-shirt and look at him. My cleaning lady has the flu and has been sick all week.

“Why did you stop?”

“I…Justin and Felix had us all taking shots of tequila. Felix put on some old 70s disco music and…it was fun. When I left, they were all going to Babylon.”

I turn my back on him and continue looking for clean clothes...so he doesn’t see my expression. It just feels so weird hearing about Justin…with Felix…knowing they’re one now…like he and I used to be one.

I slam the closet door shut annoyed with myself for giving into such stupid thoughts. “Well what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I came to get you.”

I don’t say anything for a few moments. I’m just staring at the floor. I suddenly feel so alone…I’ve never felt this empty before.

“It’s not too late.” Mikey says softly. I hadn’t even heard him come off the bed and come near me.

But I choose to ignore what he’s telling me…about Justin and I…and say, ‘Give me a few minutes. I need to change.”

As soon as I walk into Babylon, I regret my decision to come. I should have stayed at home and completed the account I was working on.

Instead, I’m surrounded by shirtless twinks who don’t even interest me. Well, not tonight anyways. I get a beer. Mikey spotted Ben the minute we walked in and was now with his boyfriend.

I lean against the bar and search the crowd. Emmett and Ted are the first ones I see, dancing…rather closely too. I guess whatever they have going on is out in the open now…because Melanie and Lindsay are right next to them…sucking face.

When Lindz sees me, she waves and comes over. “It’s about time you got here!” she shouts into my ear. I try to pull away but she grabs my arm and pulls me down for a kiss.

“I had some things to take care off.” I explain to her.

She gives me a disbelieving look and I shrug. She knows me too well.

As I’m turning away from her, I see Justin…and him. Felix. They’re both shirtless…glitter on their chests…and they’re dancing. Justin suddenly smiles and I can’t look away…because that’s my smile…I thought he had that one reserved for me.

Any other night, I would have walked over there and told the other guy…who ever he was…to fuck off. Then I’d dance with my boy…take him home and fuck all night.

But not tonight…I’m not allowed anymore.

I wish I could stop staring at them…but I can’t.

Felix leans over and kisses Justin. When he pulls away, I see him put a popper to his nose and inhales. His eyes close…open…close…open. He shakes his head and hands the vial to Justin…who does a hit. They start dancing again…and kissing…looking so perfect together.

I don’t know what I’m feeling inside right now, but I suspect it may be jealousy. Who would have guessed? Brian Kinney jealous? I don’t want anyone kissing him…unless that someone is me. And I feel stupid now…because I still don’t let anyone kiss me…

“He looks happy, doesn’t he?” Lindz says into my ear....softer this time.

I look at her. “Who?”

But she knows I know exactly to who she’s referring. “You know, Brian, it’s not too late.”

Two in one night…this must be a plot.

I say nothing though; turn back to the crowd in search of Justin again. But he isn’t there anymore. They’re actually walking towards us. Justin hasn’t noticed me yet, but Felix sure has.

“Well, if it isn’t the infamous Brian Kinney. This IS a pleasure. Sorry you couldn’t make it earlier.” Felix shouts to be heard over the music.

He offers to buy us all tequila. While he’s talking to the bartender, I watch Justin…and realize he’s staring at me. His eyes are glazed and he’s smiling non-stop. The little twat is drunk already. He should be going home now…getting into bed…right after he throws it all up. I know more about this little shit than I sometimes know about myself.

Felix hands me the shot glass. I don’t lose eye contact with Justin as I swallow the liquid quickly…cringing as it burns its way down my throat.

Grabbing Justin's arm, I say, “Let’s dance.” And pull him on the dance floor.

Justin is one of the few people I know who can really dance. He would have been a successful go-go dancer. Thank God he changed his mind about that. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take with him shaking his hips on that podium…for every man to see…and touch.

When he dances, he really uses his body as a tool…to drive his partner wild. A touch of smooth, hot skin here…the feel of his hard dick there. The boy is just multi-talented.

I slip my arms around his neck and lean down so our foreheads touch…kiss his lips briefly. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. In the background, Love Inc.’s Do Ya is playing…and I think, how ironic?

And then I hear the voices…urging me to…tell him…it’s not too late.

So I open my mouth to tell him...how much I miss him...but nothing comes out.

And then he's there...Felix...

When Justin sees him, he wraps his arms around his waist and leans up for a kiss. And I stand there and watch.

I feel like a fucking fool. This is the second time this kid has made me feel like shit in this place…I wonder who sees it happen.

Fuck! Who am I fooling? Everyone knows by now…that he left me…is now with someone else. Fucking fabulous Felix.

And I feel stupid because I should have realized it was all over…that he no longer wants me.

I can’t stay here anymore…I have to get out. I grab my jacket and make for the exit…but turn at the door. Justin has his head thrown back and Felix is kissing his neck…going downwards…has his hands going through my boy’s hair.

They look like they might fuck right there on the dance floor.

And I can’t take anymore. So I leave.

- top - Meet Felix - home -
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]
[ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ] [ 17 ] [ 18 ] [ 19 ] [ 20 ]