ALL THE RAGE
Part 8

When Justin woke up, his head was pounding. And he was on a soft bed. And there was a hand over his chest. He groaned. Who the fuck did he screw this time? He couldn’t even remember it. He promised himself for the hundredth time that he’d take no more drugs. But he knew he’d eventually break it… like he did every night for the past week.

He tried to remove the hand and only then realized he wasn’t in his own bed. The room actually looked familiar. He blinked. Fuck! Why was he at Brian’s?

He sat up and a wave of nausea hit him. He made a funny sound before racing for the bathroom. He thanked God that he reached the bowl in time. Brian would cut his dick into tiny pieces if he got puke on anything in the loft. Justin emptied his stomach and then leaned against the wall, trying to compose himself. He felt like shit. And as much as he tried, he couldn’t for the life of him, remember what had happened last night. Did he and Brian fuck? Shit! He couldn’t handle another tongue lashing from Brian. The last one was still so fresh in his mind.

He got off the ground and washed his face. A towel was thrown in his direction when he turned off the taps. “Take a fucking shower,” Brian said coldly. He closed the door behind him.

Since Justin was already naked, he just stepped into the shower. He couldn’t stand up for long so he made it a quick one. When he exited, Brian was in the kitchen. Justin walked into the bedroom, grabbed his clothes and put them on. It was a little after 12 am. He could tell Brian was incredibly pissed and he needed to get out of there. If only he knew what the hell had happened. And why the fuck Brian was mad at him. Justin hadn’t even seen him all week.

He walked down the steps cautiously, watching Brian look for something in the fridge. “Um…I’d better go. I’ve got an early shift at the diner tomorrow,” Justin said nervously.

Brian slammed the fridge door shut and unscrewed the cap of the water bottle, his hazel eyes finding blue ones. They stood staring at each other for long minutes. “So how does it feel?” Brian asked, his tone mocking.

“How does what feel?” Justin asked confused.

“To be me… Brian Kinney…”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Well, isn’t that what you were playing at all week? The drugs, the fucking…”

Justin looked at him scornfully. “Don’t flatter yourself. Anyway, I’m outta here!”

“Don’t you dare walk out that door,” Brian threatened.

Justin turned to look at him. “You aren’t my fucking father, Brian.”

“No, I’m not. I have never turned my back on you when you needed me… so don’t turn your back on me now.” Justin looked down on the floor, feeling slightly guilty. “Justin, are you gonna tell me what the fuck’s going on?

“I don’t know. Nothing. I’ll be ok.”

Brian looked at Justin, seeing the pain in his boy’s eyes. He was fighting not to cry. And all Brian wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and kiss his hurt away. But he couldn’t. Not yet. “You can’t keep doing that to yourself.” Justin just nodded, blinking back the tears. He needed to get out of there soon or he was going to tell Brian how much he missed him. And how much Brian had hurt him when he had let him go. “Justin, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” It was the closest Brian could ever come to telling the blonde how he felt about him. It was all Brian would admit to himself.

“I know,” Justin gave him a watery smile. “Can I spend the night? I’ll call Deb in the morning and ask her to cover for me.”

Brian bit on his lower lip. He took a deep breath and said, “You can stay for as long as you like,” His heart felt as though it had stopped beating the minute he got the words out of his mouth. But he knew he had to say them. Justin looked at him, so much confusion in his eyes. Brian tried to smile. And then Justin understood.

The dam broke, and tears streamed down Justin’s pale cheek. Brian had him in his arms and was whispering for him to let it all out, feeling his boy tremble in his arms. “I miss you so much,” Justin said between sobs.

Brian kissed his forehead. “It’s ok,”

“I am so fucked up,” Justin sniffed. Brian said nothing. He honestly didn’t know what to say. He just held his breath and waited. After long, long minutes, Justin wiped at his tears. He pulled Brian down for a kiss. “Thank you… for tonight,” Brian nodded, still waiting. “I’ll be ok,” Justin said. He grabbed his jacket.

Brian watched him leave, feeling a pain in his chest, similar to the one that was there after the Rage party. He was going to be alone again.

Following Justin to the door, he opened it and waited for him to leave. Justin turned to look at him. “So what do you want for dinner tonight? And pick up some wine, will ya? And condoms. I’m running pretty low!”

Brian looked at him and grinned. And then holding Justin’s face in his hands like a trophy, Brian kissed him. And kissed him. And kissed him. Then he swatted his behind and told him, “Later!”

“Later,” Justin said dreamily, sighing as he walked into the lift. He wrinkled his nose at Brian.

Brian walked back into the loft grinning like an idiot. He should have known better. Justin still loved him. And things were back to normal. That was all that mattered.

END OF CHAPTER ONE
GO TO CHAPTER TWO

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