ALL THE RAGE
Part 6

Brian looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was 6 am. He had not slept a wink all night. And he still couldn't because he just couldn't seem to draw his eyes away from Justin's sweet face. His young lover was on the bed sleeping soundly. He had fallen asleep immediately after they had cum together, an adorable smile on his face. But Brian couldn't sleep. He couldn't believe what he had done. Why was it so hard for him to turn away from this kid? Why was he hurting himself by getting caught up with the boy who had embarrassed him just weeks earlier by choosing someone else over him?

Brian touched Justin's cheek. It was like heaven, watching his boy sleep. He looked so vulnerable, so sweet, and so innocent.
Brian remembered last night. How could he even forget it? The wild, passionate way they made love, each aching for the other. It had been so long since Brian had been in that tight hole. Justin was practically screaming his name when he had entered him. He could still feel Justin's tongue on his body. His nipples ached from being sucked on so hard. He smiled as he remembered Justin giggling when he had bit them too hard, making Brian jump.

He never had a sex partner who would entwine their fingers with his own and who would stare into his eyes while they made love. Justin would stroke his face and run his hands down Brian's back as Brian thrust into him again and again. Kiss for kiss they'd meet for. Brian loved sex, but with Justin, it was more than just sex. Justin brought so many other things to their bed.

Brian inwardly groaned as he remembered Justin blurting out "I love you," last night before he came. Justin had fallen asleep right after but Brian couldn't sleep. Those words haunted him somehow. He knew Justin loved him... or thought he loved him. But how was he supposed to give his heart to an 18-year-old? And did he love the kid? He knew he cared for Justin more than anyone else in his life, with the exception of Mikey, Lindsay and Gus. He had never felt the need to protect someone like he did for Justin. It was weird, he knew, but Justin had become someone important in his life.

He just demanded too much of Brian sometimes. Too much, too soon.

Justin shifted slightly, his body easing closer to Brian's for warmth. Brian wondered if he did that to Ethan. The thought of it hurt him immensely. He didn't want Justin falling asleep in anyone else's arms. He didn't want Justin loving anyone else. But he couldn't... wouldn't do anything to stop him. Justin was too young to settle down, especially with him. He didn't want Justin hating him later on for keeping him back from experiencing things. That was mainly the reason that Brian allowed so many tricks into their bed, why he encouraged his boy to meet people his own age. For Justin to see what was out there and become the best homosexual he could become. And decide if he still wanted Brian.

And then he did choose - and it wasn't Brian.

Fuck this shit, Brian thought. He pulled his boy into his arms and closed his eyes. He would enjoy it while he could.

The first thing Justin noticed when he opened his eyes the next morning was the time. It was after 9 am, and he was late for class. Scrambling out of bed, he sat up looking around for his clothes. He noticed Brian sitting up on the bed. "What's the rush?"

"I'm late for class,"

Brian yawned widely and stretched. He looked at the time and groaned. "Fuck! I have a meeting at 10!" He got off the bed and made a dash for the bathroom.

Justin grinned before he started putting on his clothes. He couldn't afford to have a shower. Plus, he and Brian would get no where if he entered the shower. He didn't even have his books. Jeez. Justin covered his face with his hands, wanting to scream. What the fuck was he doing? Why didn't he make Brian drop him home last night? And Ethan would probably want an explanation as to why he didn't call him last night. He couldn't deal with it all. It was too much. He needed to stop coming back to Brian all the time. Brian would never settle down and give him what he wanted.

He was deep in his thoughts when Brian came out of the bathroom naked, towel in hand drying his hair. "You wanna take a shower?" Brian asked.

Justin shook his head. "I've got to get home. Get my books and everything,"

Brian nodded. "I can't drop you off. I'm kind of late,"

"It's fine," He stood up. "I'll uh see you later then,"

Brian let him go. He didn't have a clue what to say. He would deal with it all later.

"I missed you last night," Ethan brushed his lips against Justin's.

Justin smiled slightly. He had been feeling guilty all day and when Ethan had come up to him later, he had nearly admitted everything. But every time he felt he was going to say something, he just stuffed food into his mouth. "I lost track of time, had so much work to do," Justin told him. They were walking towards Justin's apartment now.

"We'll have to make up for lost time tonight then," Ethan gave him a dirty look, making Justin blush.

"I guess so,"

Emmett was not home when they entered. "Are we alone?" Ethan asked.

"I guess. He's probably at Ted's," Before he knew it, he was in Ethan's arms being so kissed as if there were no tomorrow.
He allowed himself to feel guilty for ten seconds before lust took him over. The last thought running through his head was that Brian would never feel guilty if he were in the same position.

"I think I actually worked up a sweat today," Emmett was complaining. "It feels kind of icky!" The boys were in the locker rooms at the gym. Mikey was at home with Ben, who was not feeling well so Brian was left with the "odd-couple."

Brian laughed. "Don't worry, no one can tell. Want a lift home?"

Ted raised his eyebrows in shock. Emmett gave his boyfriend a confused look. Brian pretended to not notice the exchange.

"Well, if you insist?" He kissed Ted goodbye. "Don't work too hard."

The ride to the apartment was silent, except for the sound of Tool’s Eulogy. Emmett was enjoying the cool air and thinking about what to wear the next day to work while Brian thought of what he was going to say to Justin if he saw him. Should he tell him how much he missed him at the loft? Or how good it felt to be with him again last night? Would Justin come back if he said that? And if he did come back, could Brian change?

"Fuck!" Brian slammed his hand against the steering wheel.

Emmett watched him closely. It was hard to approach Brian sometimes. "Are you ok?" Emmett had to shout to be heard over the music.

"I just remember I left something at the office,"

When they reached the building, Emmett quickly got out and thanked Brian for the lift. He was just about to say "See ya," when he noticed Brian following him inside. Shaking his head, he walked up the steps and opened the door. He only hoped his blonde roomie would be out.

However, that was not his luck. Justin was drinking milk straight from the bottle, wearing nothing but pajama bottoms. He nearly spit it all out when he saw Brian follow Emmett into the apartment. Brian watched him closely, taking in the creamy flesh. Justin's pink tongue slipped out to move along his lips and Brian felt himself getting hot automatically.

Emmett was feeling uncomfortable watching the two men. And he had already spotted Ethan's black jacket on the table. He didn't know what the hell to do. So he picked up the jacket and walked towards Justin's room. "I'll just put this in there for you,"

Justin gave him a relieved look before turning towards Brian. "Want something to drink?"

"No. I wanted to talk to you about last night," Justin looked at him strangely.

Brian walked closer until he was standing directly in front of him. Justin looked up into his eyes and was immediately lost in them. Brian touched his smooth cheek. Justin leaned into his hand. "What about last night?" Justin knew that all Brian had to do was say something sweet and that would be it. He'd be back at the loft and with his man forever.

But they both didn't get the chance to say anything because Emmett came out of Justin's room and immediately started pushing Brian towards the front door. "What the fuck are you doing?" Brian asked.

"You have got to go!" Em muttered.

Justin noticed Em's nervous expression and immediately remembered Ethan in the other room. Fuck! He was so stupid. How could he forget Ethan? But with Brian, he could forget anyone.

"I'll come by later Brian," he promised. Brian looked at the two of them as if they'd gone mad.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked.

"Nothing," they said in unison.

Justin was looking guilty and Emmett was more nervous than usual. "He's fucking here, isn't he?" he asked Justin. He was guessing but when Justin couldn't answer him and started looking at the floor, he knew he was right. And it hurt like hell. The kind of hurt that went straight to his heart. "You fucking..." he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Brian-" Justin said.

"I knew I was right when I said all you cared about is getting your dick sucked and your tight little hole fucked!" Brian said.

"Stop it, Brian!" Em said. "And keep your voice down,"

"Why? So his fuck buddy won't hear that I fucked Justin all night last night? That I rode him so hard... and he screamed my name more than once? That stupid kid has got nothing on me. I KNOW Justin's body even better than I know my own!"

"Brian-" Justin bit his lip.

"As for you, this is it. I want you to go out there and fuck and get fucked like crazy. But understand this: Brian Kinney is no longer on your list," Justin didn't know what to do or say. He had never felt so guilty about anything. And he was beginning to realize how much this hurt Brian. "DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?" Brian shouted at him. He nodded quickly and felt tears fall down his cheeks. Brian walked out.

Justin allowed Emmett to hug him. He heard his bedroom door slam and remembered Ethan. A fully dressed Ethan came towards him. "So that's why you didn't call last night," Ethan said angrily.

"I'm sorry," Justin said softly.

"No, you're not. You're a liar and not worth my time. Scratch me off your list too," And with that, he was gone too.

Justin had never felt so low in all his life. "Who knew dick could get someone in so much trouble," Emmett said.

Justin sighed. "Who knew...?”

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