ALL THE RAGE
Part 3

“I’m so sorry Ethan, you’ve got to believe it wasn’t my fault,” Justin pleaded. He had followed Ethan back to his apartment and was finding it difficult to get Ethan to listen to him.

With tears glistening in his eyes, Ethan shouted, “How can you go back to that asshole? After all that he did to you?”

“I didn’t go back to him! He just started coming on to me. I was stupid ok. Please, it won’t happen again. I want us to work.”

Ethan shook his head. “We can’t work if he’s always going to be around.”

“He’s not always around! But I’ll take care of it. I just don’t want us to be over.” Justin put his arm around his new boyfriend and kissed his forehead. “I’d be so alone without you. I really care about you Ethan.”

Ethan nodded and said sadly, “I know. You just don’t care about me as much as you care about him.”

Justin didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t lie to Ethan, but fact was fact, he would never care about anyone the way he did about Brian. “Yea, I do care for Brian. He’s been everything to me in the past few years. A father, a mother, a friend, a lover and sometimes he even acts like a child so I have to return the favour,” He grinned, but Ethan showed no response. “Brian is always going to be in my life Ethan. If you can’t deal with that…”

“I don’t know if I can compete,” Ethan said with a sneer. “He’s got the killer loft, the fabulous clothes, the sexy body, devastating looks-“

“Who cares about those things?” Justin asked getting angry at having to go through this conversation again.

“I don’t care about it really.” Ethan said. “But he also has something that I want.”

“What’s that?”

“Your heart.” he said softly.

Justin just shook his head. “I think I better go. Do me a favour and REALLY think about this ok? If this isn’t what you want, that’s fine. We can be friends. But I can’t keep arguing about Brian with you.” He kissed Ethan’s parted lips and softly said, “I’m sorry ok. Call me tomorrow.”

And he left, knowing he had hurt Ethan. Why was he so screwed up?

“Fuck!” he said. “Where the hell am I supposed to go?”

“Justin? Are you ok? Come in baby,” Emmett moved aside to allow Justin to enter.

“Um, I kinda need a place to crash Em,” Justin said.

“Mikey’s over at Ben’s. You could have his bed-”

“The couch will be fine,”

While Emmett got a pillow and blanket, Ted walked out of the bedroom in a robe. Justin blinked trying to get the image of what Ted looked like under the robe out of his head.

“What’s going on?” Ted wanted to know. “Justin? What’re you doing here? Did something happen?”

“No, no, no. I just need a place to crash,”

Emmett returned and got Justin settled on the sofa. “Teddy, why don’t you go back to sleep. I want to talk to Justin.”

As soon as Ted shut the door behind him, Emmett turned to Justin. “Are you going to be ok?”

Justin shrugged. “I’ll be fine,”

“What happened?”

“I messed up. I’ll fix it,”

“Justin-“

“Em, please. I can’t deal with this right now. My life is a fucking mess.” As tears streamed down his face, Justin said, “I have no where to go. Mom’s got Molly to think about and I can’t go to her now. I can’t let her see how I screwed things up.” He sniffed. “And all my stuff is at Brian’s. I can’t even go back there!”

Emmett hugged him. “What about Deb’s?”

“With Michael not talking to me?” he sighed and wiped at his eyes. “I won’t do that. I can’t go backward. Brian always says ‘never go backward,’”

Emmett didn’t know what to say. “We’ll work something out baby, we will.” He held Justin to him until the boy had fallen asleep.

“So why can’t he pack his own shit?” Michael asked Brian as he helped his best friend pack Justin’s clothes into boxes.
Brian looked at the amount of boxes on the floor and got an instant headache. He ran a hand through his silky dark hair and turned to answer Mikey.

“Because I’m doing it for him. Now shut the fuck up and just pack would you,” He wasn’t in the mood for this shit. After a hard day at work dealing with Vance and a new client, he should be out having some fun instead of cleaning up after that blonde brat. But no, here he was again doing the dirty work. And why? Because of his bloody conscience.

He hadn’t seen Justin since that night in Babylon and he was worried about him. He still felt responsible for the boy. Where was Justin sleeping at night? What the fuck was he wearing since Brian had all of his belongings? And was he avoiding the guys?
Brian squeezed his forehead in his hands.

“You should just throw all his stuff out,” he heard Mikey say.

Brian looked up, surprised. “What?”

“After what he did to you-“

“Let it go. He didn’t do anything wrong,”

“How can you say that? Bri-“

“Will you just let it go?”

Michael walked over to stand in front of Brian. “I don’t know why you always defend him. I know you love him Brian but-“

Brian stopped him with a kiss. He caressed his cheek and kissed him again. “You should probably leave. I’ve still got some work to finish up,” He moved away and walked into his bedroom.

Michael grabbed his coat and as he was putting it on said, “Since I am still not speaking to that asshole, could you do me a favour and tell him to get some place else to crash?” He walked out of the loft before he could see Brian’s expression.

Justin was staying at Emmett’s? he thought. Fuck! Why didn’t anyone tell him? Fuck those guys. Well, at least he’s got somewhere to stay temporarily.

As he opened the draw, he found a pair of Justin’s “expensive” underwear. Brian remembered when Justin had first bought them. Justin was standing in front of the mirror “scoping” out his ass. “Does this make my ass look too big?” Justin had asked him. Brian had responded by slipping his hands into the underwear from behind and palming his young lover’s butt.

“Your ass is already too big,” Brian had said, kissing the blonde’s smooth back.

“But you like my big ass, don’t you?”

And that kiss. Brian couldn’t forget that kiss. Justin’s tongue was like velvet. He craved it now. He looked down and realized he was hard.

Brian grinned at the memory. They had never made it to Babylon that night, opting to stay home and fuck like crazy. He fingered the underwear before bringing it to his cheek. It felt so soft, kind of like Justin. And it smelt like him too. Oh god. Brian groaned. He put the underwear back into the draw. If Justin could steal one of his, he could certainly return the favour.

“I just don’t see why he has to stay here all the time!” Michael argued as he helped Emmett and Ben clear the dirty dishes off the table. They were at his place.

“Mikey, I don’t see why you’re acting this way,” Emmett said.

Ben placed his arms on his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Will you cool it?” He planted a kiss on his cheek before moving back to the table.

“Why does everyone defend that kid? Jeez!” Michael said annoyed.

“We’re not defending him sweetie,” Em said. “It’s just that he really needs us right now. We’ve got each other but who does Justin have? No one,”

“He would have had Brian if-“

“If Brian wasn’t such an asshole who needed to fuck everything with a dick that moved,” Ben laughed. At Michael’s look, he stopped.

“So now what? He just stays with us?”

Emmett sighed and took a deep breath. “Actually-“

“No,” Michael said abruptly.

“But I haven’t even told you what I was thinking yet,” Emmett protested.

“I don’t want to hear it. And I know I won’t like it,”

“It’s just that you’re hardly ever around. You’re at Ben’s more often than you’re at home. Most of your stuff is at Ben’s,” Michael threw the dish cloth into the sink and stormed out of the room. Emmett followed close behind. “It’s just an idea honey,”

“I don’t like it,” Michael muttered angrily.

“I kind of do,” Ben said from the doorway of the room. At Michael’s surprised look, Ben continued, “I would love for you to move in with me. But that’s only if you want to, of course,”

Emmett clapped his hands. “Problem solved then! Wait ‘til I tell Sunshine,”

“I haven’t even said yes!” Michael shouted. So the other two waited. Michael swallowed. “Ben, as much as I love you, I don’t think this is a good idea,”

Ben looked at the floor, obviously disappointed. “I understand Michael,”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s nothing. Well, I’m bushed. I’ll head out now. I’ll see you later ok?” He brushed a kiss on Michael’s forehead and left.
Emmett just shook his head. “When are you going to realize how much Ben loves you? I’d say it equals the way you feel about Brian,”

“What does this have to do with Brian?” Michael whined.

“Everything! It’s not because Justin’s in the picture that you can’t be with Brian. It’s because Brian doesn’t want to be with you like that,”

“Em-“

“I am so disappointed in you Mikey. Here was your chance to prove that you had moved on from pining after that fucked up asshole. Instead you hurt Ben and turn down a great opportunity to start a new life with him.”

Michael sighed as he watched Emmett grab his coat. “I’ll be at Ted’s. Tell Justin he can sleep in my room tonight!”

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