ALL THE RAGE
Part 1

Bright sunlight streamed through the windows easing its way under Justin’s eyes, forcing him to open them. He felt the warm body next to him lightly stir as he did and immediately grumbled, “You didn’t close the blinds Brian,” His blonde head disappeared under a pillow.

“Wake up sleepyhead. We can finally see the sun rise,”

He heard as warm kisses were plastered on his naked back. Realization came to Justin then. This was not Brian he was sleeping next to; it was Ethan. Oh god, he thought. This can’t be happening to me. I did not walk out on Brian last night. I did not let Ethan kiss me senseless in front of my friends and mother. I have completely lost my mind.

Justin was hit with a massive headache immediately. As he looked up from under the pillow, he realized it was not even 6 am. Jesus. Who would have thought he would be awake at this godforsaken hour? Ethan’s lips connected with his for a warm but sweet kiss.

“I’ll let the Brian comment slip,” Ethan said. “But just this once.” He grinned to show he wasn’t upset about it and then brushed his red lips against Justin’s again.

“I’m so sorry.” Justin said, licking his lips. “It just feels so weird. I haven’t slept without him for so long.”

At Ethan’s hurt look, Justin immediately said, “But you make an even better pillow.”

The boys shared a laugh and then Justin hugged him. “It feels so good, being here with you.”

Ethan nodded. “So shall we stay in bed and screw like the French all day?”

To ensure that no other response would do, Ethan grabbed Justin’s dick in his hand and squeezed.

“Fuck!”

Where the hell was all that pounding coming from? Brian wondered. He looked at the clock. It was after 1 pm. His head hurt
something fierce. “Fucking kids gave me some other shit!” he said to no one in particular. He was after all, alone in the loft. He
was in his birthday suit as he entered the bathroom, opening the cabinet to find pills, which he popped into his mouth followed by a cool drink of water.

He saw the red light flashing on his answering machine. It was Michael.

“Brian, it’s Michael. Are you ok? I was so worried about you last night. I know you were fine, but still… Anyways, will you call me later? We could go to Woody’s or something. Ted and Emmett have been acting sooo weird. I think they’re like a couple. But that’s not possible. *sigh*. Ben’s making lunch, want me to bring some over? Call me ok?”

Brian deleted the message and crawled back under the covers. He couldn’t deal with anyone right now. They’d all look at him funny and offer him sympathy. As if Brian fucking Kinney needs bloody sympathy. Shit! Stupid kid. He meant nothing to me. Nothing! And I’ll show them too. Show them that he meant nothing.

Because he didn’t.

Fuck, his head hurt. He closed his eyes and felt a tear crawl out. He wiped it away quickly.

Why did he feel as though there were spikes in his heart? Why did he feel as though he was going to forever be alone now? He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. He didn’t need this shit. He was Brian Kinney and he could have any guy he wanted. Forget that stupid kid. He made his choice and it wasn’t you.

He groaned.

“I am going completely fucking insane!”

He knew just what he needed though: to get his dick sucked. That always helped. Opening his little black book, he found a number and dialed.

“Hey, it’s  me,” he said. “Want to come over? Great. See you in ten minutes.” He closed his eyes and waited.

“Hey Sunshine!” Deb came over as soon as she saw Justin enter the diner. “Where’d you disappear to last night?”

Justin couldn’t quite meet her eyes. “My friend needed me to-“

“Right, I’m not stupid so don’t act like I am!” she waited.

Justin sighed. “It’s over, ok Deb. Brian and I are finally over. I’m sorry everyone had to find out that way.”

She kissed his cheek. “We’ll get over the shock of it all baby.” Holding his cheeks with both of her hands, she watched him straight in the eyes. “Just tell me you know what the hell you’re doing,”

Justin licked his lips and shrugged. “I couldn’t do it anymore. He doesn’t want what I want and I can’t let myself keep getting hurt, Deb. I love Brian so much but he’ll never love me that way.” Justin took a deep breath. “It’s better this way I think. He can go back to his old life and I can start a new one.”

Tears glistened in Debbie’s eyes. She grinned. “You go baby! You think of yourself for once!”

Emmett and Ted walked in holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.

“What the hell’s gotten into you two?” Debbie wanted to know. The pair sat down opposite each other so they could stare into the other’s eyes.

Emmett smiled. “We have finally realized how much we care for each other in a more than friendly way.”

Ted sighed. “Oh Em.”

Justin rolled his eyes heavenward. “Are you two for real?” He sat next to Emmett.

“Yes, we are as a matter of fact!” Ted said.

“Oh just ignore them Teddy,” Emmett said. Turning to Justin he added, “And you have some explaining to do young man. Just who was that delicious young morsel we saw you leaving with last night? Brian must have loved that!”

Emmett and Ted laughed as Justin groaned.

“Well???” Emmett persisted when Justin said nothing.

“Well what?” Justin asked. “Since when is any of my business any of yours?”

“Don’t get all nasty young man and just DISH!!!” Emmett waited.

Justin sighed. He had been able to leave Ethan at home to get some work done and really wanted to avoid bumping into anyone just so he wouldn’t have to explain that he and Brian were no longer together. Oh well, he thought. They’re all going to find out
eventually.

“We uh broke up,” he said into his glass of water.

Emmett and Ted exchanged confused glances. “Who broke up baby?” Emmett wanted to know.

“Brian and I.” Justin stated.

“Yea right,” Ted shook his head.

“I’m serious,” Justin said. “We just realized that we wanted different things.”

“You mean YOU realized, don’t you?” Emmett said. “We all know Brian “doesn’t care” and “doesn’t do relationships”,” he mocked.

Justin smiled. “Ok, so I realized. Ethan loves me. I need that so much right now. Someone to want me and shower me with love and make me feel special.” He sighed. “Am I wrong to do this to Brian Em, especially after all he’s done for me?”

Emmett hugged the blue-eyed boy and kissed his soft cheek. “Between you and me honey, I’m surprised you even lasted that long with him. You’re a good kid. We want you to be happy, and Brian can’t offer you that. I’m glad you’re no longer taking what he gives. You made the right decision, baby.”

As Justin squeezed his eyes shut to fight the tears, Ted said, “Em’s right Justin. You’re finally doing what’s good for you. And we’ll be here if you need us.”

Justin smiled a watery smile. “Thanks guys,” He somehow felt a little better. He had made the right choice.

Then why the hell did it hurt so much?

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